well I have been a little quiet lately, I guess summer for our family really hasnt been so great .. first Thomas and visits to the doc and then specialiast and then surgeon and booking in for surgery ..

then i had an incredible tooth ache, that just would not go away, right on xmas eve .. so i took myself off to the dentist on 3rd Jan.. all that i could do over that time of year .. and he shunted me off the the oral surgeon, i managed to get an appointment for tonight, but then last monday they rang with a cancelled appointment did i want it .. yep, not a problem, might as well get it over and done with .. well.. i get there, yes there are a few problems .. lets see, can you come in for surgery this saturday!!! hmm ok, like i said i might as well get it over and done with .. so two days ago off i trot to a little private hospital and get put into a nice little room and wait (hmm gotta love hospital gowns!) ..

i was chatting rathly nicely to the nurse and then next thing i know i wake up in another room, im crying (not sure why i was crying) and i have great big wads of swabbing stuff in my mouth .. i cant feel my face and i cant talk ..

anyway, another 30minutes in recovery then back to my room, sam i waiting for me, with a couple of minutes im talking (as much as you can with swabbing in your mouth) im sucking on crushed ice (a weird feeling with no feeling in your face .. or at least half your face) .. then in no time at all i have the swabs taken out, im chatting away, im eating jelly and icecream, be told i need to go to the toilet before i can leave (not sure what going to the toilet has got to do with removing wisdom teeth .. ) .. so off i hope.

i head home, all i can think about eating is hot chips.. derr .. thats going to happen ..

but seriously my recovery has been really good, i am incredibly swollen and a bit tender .. but i have had no bleeding, i am eating quite well (even managed a few hot chips yesterday) .. lots of noodles, icecream, custard and porridge !!

so now the fun begins, i need two large fillings, where the offending wisdom teeth with rubbing against my other molars .. and i am not sure but may need braces on the bottom (that is my judgement) as the teeth have all squished together and are now overlapping ..

lets hope thomas’ surgery goes as well …

on the other side …

there is also so much i want to say, about friendship, and the trials and tribulations of such .. but i dont know, when is it time to give up and walk away .. not bother anymore .. isnt it supposed to go both ways .. well it doesnt, i now i sit and think and wonder whether it ever did … i dont know, maybe im still affected by the drugs they are giving me for my wounds .. they are supposed to be ‘depressants’ .. just wish it was easier .. but would we value it as much if it was easy?

ok.. v weird stuff, i posted this and yet it has not updated ..

anyway a v sweet young man wrote this poem for me, its short & simple and i love it ..

A warm smile,
Tender mbrace.
Caring eyes,
Pretty face.

Ears that listen,
Lips that tell.
Words come forth,
I know them well.

Never without her,
And I know that I
Love those two letters,
Ky.

it makes it all worthwhile really

Ok.. so after being tempted by my dear bro .. here i go, doing as i am told (doesnt happen often, dont get used to it!) …

Ground rules: The first player of this “game” starts with the topic “Five Weird Habits of Yourself” and the people who get tagged need to then write a LJ entry about their five quirky little habits as well as state the rules of this game clearly. In the end, you need to list the next five people who you want to tag.

1. I too alphabetise everything, hmm must be a family thing, as i think you will find our dear father does as well …

2. an extension of the alphabetising, when i have a collection of many books of one author, they must be stored on the shelf in published order .. or what i mean is “the order in which they must be read” ..

3. the toilet roll must be on the roll holder with the toilet paper coming over the top from the back, its a weird fixation, i even have to change it when i am at other peoples houses ..

4. i have these need to check the forums i belong, and email, and msn most of the day, over and over again, in case i miss something, very weird thing to do as i doubt the world is going to stop, but cant stand the idea of something happening without me knowing about (i am working on this one!!)

5. i cant just sit and do one thing, watch a movie, read a book (ok i can just read a book), but i need to be busy, am not very good at just vegging and will always be on the go, writing something, reading something .. and generally all at the same time .. i guess the main point of this, i cant relax.

hmm well i dont have 5 people to tag, that havent already been so .. but i can give 2 .. dustyakubra .. and coops, you dont have an LJ but you do have a blog so maybe you can do this in yours

well i have been informed that i havent updated for a while, so here goes ..

the main reason for not updating is that things have been in emotional upheaval and im not really coping with things, and i find it hard to always be so negative on here ..

so in a nutshell:

i received an offer into the Masters in Social Work, and i sent back my acceptance .. v exciting news, am terrified but really looking forward to it as well

thomas needs surgery (3yr old) he has what is called a branchial arch remnant, which is staying infected and caused his lymph glands on his neck to stay swollen, surgery booked for 23rd february

i got told that i am too close to the venturers in SA .. i am too familiar and do not have enough distance, this is why i cannot apply for Branch Commissioner position, i have basically been told i wont get it .. i have to be colder towards the venturers .. well all i can say is bugger to that, i have built up relationships with these guys, i think for the most part they trust me, i dont betray what they have told me, and i am there to listen .. i just hope that whomever does get the job doesnt tell me they dont want me to do mine anymore, i love what i do, and put so much of my heart into it .. not sure what i would do if i couldnt do that ..

… ok thats it i guess .. lots of more little things, but nothing dramatic, just getting ready for christmas and the kids .. lots of fun .. need to battle the shops for groceries tonight .. yeuck ..

anyway have a merry christmas and a safe new year everyone … and i promise to make more of an effort to update .. things are going to be exciting this year i think!

well i havent updated for so long, its scary …

i have just been so amazingly busy .. firstly i work at the Show .. in Adelaide an Agricultural fair type of thing .. anyway in 8 days I clocked up 85 hours in my time sheet. Needless to say it took me a few days to get back in favour with my children.

i have also been working like crazy in schools doing the whole scout promotion thing …

and then just this last week i went to Yalata … now for those of you not in australia this is over 200km from Ceduna, which is over 700km from adelaide. we flew from adelaide on a 19 seater plan .. my goodness … then slept overnight at ceduna (good food, a bottle of wine and a couple of beers…) then took the two hour drive to Yalata. now Yalata is a government aboriginal community, and artifical one in which several cultural groups of aborginal people were clumped together about 30 or 40 years ago. well if ever you wanted an eye opener it is probably the place… firstly you drive past a sign that says “Restricted Area, No Alcohol, No Cameras, You must Report to the Community Officer on Arrival”, you just have to ignore the rubbish, broken down houses and the third world feeling you drive into.

The kids are all running around barefoot, the children that got to school on time got a shower and therefor were given school uniform for the day, and therefore get given a hot lunch. The other children, well they are not in uniform, who knows when they last showered and im not sure what they eat. Atleast they turned up at school i guess. English is a second language to these kids, and the aborginal dialect they use, i am unsure but am assuming it is pitjinjara … is amazing, these kids babble away. Now im trying to promote scouting to these kids, these kids that live in the bush, camp in swags and can probably survive off bush tucker … they cant sit still, some couldnt understand me, the concept is foreign … lets just say it was hard.

But i loved it, i really did. the kids swarmed all over me, i got hugs and cuddles. they were just so happy that someone cared enough about them to come and play some games. once we got into a routine and the games worked they laughed and played and just basically enjoyed themselves. i admire the people that have made yalata their home, to put themselves so many hours and so many km from civilisation. to be in the midst of a community that is struggling is inspiring. i only hope thatone day i can make even half the difference these people make just by being there.

the next thing, looks like im going to be able to do my masters in social work, that is exciting. i didnt think that i would be able to, but it seems my honours degree in education is enough to get me in… yeeha!!

lastly i joined the gym today … 700$ later but all inspired to become fit. i am struggling with body image at the moment, nothing too dramatic just want to feel good about myself … a step in the right direction …

well thats been my life the last month …. think i will breath now

ok … try this … running around trying to get three young children out of the house and in the school ground so that we can buy the bookclub books, in the 15 minutes, before the bell that we are allowed on the school grounds …

i can safely say after this mornings efforts … i am amazed we get out of the house at all …

well that was my day, performing in front of 6 classes of about 25 kids each .. selling scouting and encouraging them to give the local scout group a try .. and next week I go to the “Come n Try” and see if my promotional skills are any good. i am knackered .. it was a full on day … but atleast this one came off. on tuesday i drove the hour to the school i was rostered on to see .. and guess what .. they werent expecting me, so after running around all morning getting the kids organised, racing off at 7.30am i had to turn around and come home again … oh dont worry i will be claiming the mileage and the 2 hours work, it wasnt my fault they didnt know…. but then it is, as i was too chicken to ring the school in the first place (what can i say … i am not telemarketer … i was almost physically sick, so i balked and sobbed to my boss and someone else did the ringing. so out of this experience, i am determined to try and do the cold sell myself, i need to conquer this … i will ring schools atleast the day before to make sure we are actually due in and well i will take my lunch (cos weird kranski form the corner deli just doesnt make it).

so that was my day … but other than tuesdays fiasco it has been a really good week, and i am feeling positive about things, well in a little way, shelly rang and asked to have a meeting to see if i want to run some scrapbooking/cardmaking classes which could be fantastic, and mean some pay. i got contacted to do some creche/face painting work at a school (its only 1 shift of 2 hours but all good and should be fun) and i got contacted about a regular creche to run, that i can take my kids to. so even if they pay is crap i will probably be in front as i wont have to pay childcare fees!

i am feeling whole inside, im not sure why, or what i did to achieve this (i really should find out as i am sure i will need it again) .. i feel strong enough to come to terms with other things in my life, well atleast to try, i need to accept that i cannot change things so therefore to move past them. this in itself is painful, as i was prepared to change everything … but maybe i dont need to, ah human emotion, what an unknown it is …